1) Focus on Yourself
You should never be in a relationship with someone because the person “completes you.” Do not rely on another person to make you happy. If you do not feel complete, it would be in your best interest to learn how to love yourself first. In a relationship you are suppose to have a bond that doesn’t mean you are one person. You have individual needs and wants and should continue to discover and enjoy life as an individual. Enjoy exploring new hobbies, volunteering, and doing things that make you happy. When you are with your mate, it will be even better because you are not relying on that person to fulfill all of your needs.
2) Be Honest
If you are unable to enjoy your time as an individual without cheating, you should let the person know. The worst thing you can do is pretend that you are faithful when you’re actually not ready for monogamy. Be honest with yourself. It’s ok if the person you are with is not the right one for you. There are billions of people in the world and the right one is out there somewhere. The proper thing to do is to simply tell this person the truth.
You should also feel comfortable enough to be who are around your partner. No one should stop communicating with you, make you feel insecure, feel like you can’t be yourself, put you down, or ignore you. If you have been in a relationship for a while and some of these things are going on, reevaluate why you are in the relationship.
3) Communicate & Compromise
Be opened and honest about what you want out of the relationship from the beginning. You are individuals and will not agree on everything all the time. You can not have your way all time or punish your partner for not doing or giving you what you want. You have to compromise. It takes a lot of emotional energy to be in a relationship. If you only have 10% of yourself to give in a relationship while someone else is putting in 90%, this may not work out. It may appear to the other person that you do not care as much or perhaps cheating.
If you hold back your feelings because you are afraid of confrontation, you may not trust the person you are with. Therefore you should reconsider your purpose in the relationship.
4) Have A Purpose
My philosophy is that everything you do should have a purpose. If you have no idea why you are with this person, that is a sign that you should not be in that relationship. If you are in a relationship because you don’t want to be alone, you have to realize that you deserve better. Do you expect someone to love you more than you love yourself? Why are you settling? Is that what you deserve? What is your purpose for being with this person?
5) There Are Other Fish In The Sea
Know what you deserve and do not deserve. Know that this person is not the last person on earth. If you are headed toward ending the relationship, it may seem as if there is no life outside the world you have been in with this person. Do not allow a person to have total control of your finances, friends, or even your whereabouts. That is why you continue to be independent while exploring hobbies and enjoying your life. The person you are with should add to your life and you should add to their life. You should not feel emotionally drained or overwhemed from this relationship.
Once again, there are billions of people on earth. Everyone is special and worthy of being loved. But not everyone deserves your time or love. There are always red flags telling you to turn the other way. Whether you listen before it is too late is up to you. You have the power to decided if the relationship is worth working out. The most important relationship to establish and consistently work on is the one with yourself.
If you want share your story or just want to chat I would love to hear from you!